- High school student failing her math classes
High school students have dreams. Who could have any desire to crush them? Well, I confess that I'm having that impulse on an increasingly regular basis. When someone who's complacently getting C's in their core academic classes shares their lofty life plan and looks at me for approval, I get the impression that they're proud of having dreams. Everyone in their life has told them that Dreaming Big is the key to going places in life. And yes, to some extent, I suppose it is. Only one of them (fingers crossed!) is pregnant and dropping out. Several are on their way to good colleges.
But when kids want validation for having ambitious dreams, I get concerned. Someone has taught them how to dream without teaching them any reasonable way of getting there. They need goals--"get an A in chemistry!" They need plans--"take good notes, and go over tests with the teacher after getting them back!" What they don't need is any more pats on the back for coming up with long-term fantasies entirely detached from any concrete steps to get there.
It's easy to congratulate yourself for things you plan to do. (Today, I fully intended to apply for a job! I envisioned how nice the house would look when I finally cleaned it! I decided I might someday take up a musical instrument!) I suspect that some similar reward neurons are activated by fantasizing about achieving a goal as are activated by actual success. Getting from "I'm going to learn to play guitar!" to "I am going to learn this piece" to "I am practicing RIGHT NOW" is incredibly difficult! So despite the possible benefits of having ambitious goals, I wonder if encouraging kids to dream without teaching them how to plan is actively detrimental. How many people end up satisfying themselves with the glow of imaginary future glories, forgoing the smaller satisfaction of short-term successes entirely?
Are big dreams and small goals psychological substitute goods?
